I parked my crappy, dappy and yet happy cherry-tomato colored truck on Fourth Avenue, I spilled out the driver's side with a fist-

full of dead Presidents embossed on coins to feed the ghoulish hunger of the Satanic parking meter. I saw lovely Rita driving by on her parking enforcement golf cart like a ravenous Great White Shark stalking her prey. She had a pretty scarlet-colored lip-stick sharp smile and she was laughing like a lunatic. Lovely Rita looked like she was…

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I was finishing a glass of Mission Brewery Blond Ale by Mr. Vino's pool and enjoying the warm sunshine. Suddenly, I was being charmed by the vision of  the dripping wet  Mary Melons rising out  the pool  like the Goddess …

After a delightful swim with Talley Ho and Mary Melons, Mr. Vino and I caught some more sunshine with the gorgeous girls. We chatted about why there were no oranges or orange trees on Orange Avenue. "Why is called Orange Avenue? There are mostly palm trees on the Avenue. If you drive into Lemon Grove, there is a giant lemon as big as a baby elephant," I…

While most of the country was buried under several feet snow, it was an ordinary day in Coronado, warm and sunny. I was ready to go to the beach and armed myself with my faded beach towel, my cheap ten dollar sunglasses and my Rite -Aid sunscreen. I was wearing a pair of orange surf shorts to catch the relaxing Coronado sunshine. I was watching the green waves tumble like a troupe of Chinese acrobats onto the shore, baking in the sun like a happy little lizard. I thought how…