I was finishing a glass of Mission Brewery Blond Ale by Mr. Vino's pool and enjoying the warm sunshine. Suddenly, I was being charmed by the vision of the dripping wet Mary Melons rising out the pool like the Goddess Aphroditein her all American red, white and blue bikini. When Mr. Vino broke this spell, by telling me that Mary and I had to get ready for a very important guest.
I quickly put on my five dollar flip flops, Beatles T-shirt and Chargers lighting bolt baseball cap and Mary put her short but charming yellow floral swim suit cover-up over her curvaceous figure. Mr. Vino told us to go to the balcony and watch our guest land on Ocean Boulevard. I thought what does Mr. Vino mean, certainly Ocean Boulevard is not an air strip runway. But as we got to the balcony, I could see that that half the Coronado police force about a thousand officers had cleared an area for a plane to land. I thought this could only mean the arrival of someone important like the winner of American Idol or Kim Kardashian. I was wrong when I saw it was a small passenger jet. It was Air Force One & 1/2.
The jet flew barely over the Hotel Del Coronado and then made a pleasant scream, as it made a perfect landing on the Boulevard, I looked at the top of the plane and I saw no dog carrier attached to it and thought it must be President Obama. I looked at Mary and Mr. Vino and they looked, as if they were having a grinning contest.
I next noticed that the plane taxied right in front of Mr. Vino's beach mansion. I gave a perplexed look at Mr. Vino and he said that the President was here to see him. As the jet doors opened, a dozen men and women in black, all were wear wearing sunglasses and bulging muscles came toward the mansion.
We came down the stairs, and Alfred, the butler had already opened the door. I soon found myself with a tall, attractive but very muscular female Secret Service agent named Diana Prince. She had raven-colored hair, beefy shoulders, and a Wonder Woman like figure. Diana gave me the pat down, I found it far from unpleasant because after the very through pat down where she gently touched everywhere with her strong but pretty fingers. I was clean. The Amazon gave me her phone number and then blew me a kiss.
I was finished with my pat down, I noticed a line of Secret Service agents all wanting to pat down the supermodel Mary Melons to make sure she wasn't caring any weapons besides her knock 'em dead beauty. She just giggled as the lucky agent patted her down; just as if he tickled her with an ostrich feather.
Mary and I went into the sunken living room, where Mr. Vino was showing the president his latest painting he had purchased from the world famous museum the Louvre. It was Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa. The President looked puzzled and gave a Mona Lisa like smile said, "I guess, everything has its price."
The President is an impressive looking man over six feet tall, with caramel-colored skin and large ears. He was wearing a pair of beige khaki pant and a pink Polo shirt and looked as if he just got off the golf course.
Mr. Vino introduced us to the President. I gave him a firm handshake and Mary gave the Pres a pleasant eyeful with her peek-a-boo curtsy.
The President just chuckled and told us to call him Barack, which I couldn't do because of the respect I've for the Presidency. I did ask him a dumb question, "Is it cool to be President?"
"You better believe it. I've met a lot of great people like Mr. Vino and you folks. I get to fly to cool places. I live in the White House and have great toys like Air Force One & 1/2," Then the President showed his millions of votes smile and asked me. "Is it cool to be a wine guy?"
"You drink a lot of good and great wine for free and get paid for it. And every once a while a pretty girl hits on you."
The Pres scratched his chin and said, "That sounds like the perfect job."
Mr. Vino changed the subject, "I had my good friend, Chef Kenny fix us the perfect picnic food, The President wants to know more about picnic wines."
President Obama went on, "Mr. Vino is right, I have heard from many world leaders and they are tired of the formal state dinners and want do something more causal like a picnic. It makes a lot of sense to me, world leaders are more relaxed when they are wearing causal clothes, instead of tuxedos and those boring three thousand dollar blue suits with a red neckties.
We went into the Spanish courtyard in the interior of the beach mansion, where a table was laid out filled with soft and hard cheese, dried meats, grapes, Greek olives and crusty bread
Mr. Vino pulled out a Rose and poured the President, Mary and me a glass. As Mr. Vino twirled a glass and spoke as he gazed at the face of the President, who had a slight frown, "Mr. President, I know what you're thinking that pink wine like a rose is sweet. This wine is dry and has a nice chill. It is made for a pleasant afternoon like today.
This Rose is made with Syrah and it has good fruit characteristics. The grapes skins is key to the color of Rose. Most wine grape juice is white, so the grape skins act like a dye. The grape juice has a short contact with the skins for a half hour or so and then is run off to be fermented."
The President then sniffed the wine and took a tiny sip and rolled the wine in his mouth like a cement mixer and then swallowed and said, "I like it. This wine has good
"And it goes well with the cheeses," Mary said with a cheery smile.
Mr. Vino, Mary and the President took each a nibble of cheese. Mr. Vino took another wine out to taste and said, "Pinot Grigio, aka Pinot Gris, is a light fruity white wine
and another nice picnic wine. This wine is made in Fruili, Italy."
"Anybody that doesn't like Pinot Grigio doesn't like white wine," declared the Pres, after taking a sip
"Very true, leader of the free world," I said.
"The last wine, I want to show you, Mr. President is light red wine, a Cote Du Rhone. It is a blend of several grapes but primarily Syrah and Grenache. It is grown in Southern France."
The President took a piece of Genoa Salami a took a small bite before putting the wine to his lips. I could see how he enjoyed the Rhone by the happy look on his face.
Then the world leader said. "Another winner, Mr. Vino."
Mr. Vino bowed humbly.
The President went into another gear, "Now, folks, it is time to get ready. We are going back to White House and we are going to have a picnic with Prince William and his bride. The prince has told me that he wants to meet Mr. Vino, now here is chance. We will be leaving in a hour on Air Force One & 1/2 .
I gazed at Mary and she nodded her beautiful blond head and told me to get ready.
Frank Marquez (AKA Mr. Vino) is a wine enthusiast, writer, lecturer, buyer & seller of fine wines.
Frank attended and graduated from Coronado High School and has deep roots here on the island.
Click here to email
619-435-4663 or visit:
Avenue Liquor & Wine
(878 Orange Avenue)