It was one of those days that you love that your on the Coronado Island, where you feel you have died and gone to heaven. You have to pinch yourself to make sure it isn't all but a happy dream, beautiful sun, clear warm water, an ice cold Mexican beer and the pleasant company of stunning-looking bikini girls. A blissful the feeling was going through my bones. I was lounging around Mr. Vino's pool, surrounded by three of Mr. Vino's most lovely girlfriends, the two blond bookend bombshells, Talley Ho and Mary Melons and his latest discovery, the incredible dark and voluptuous, Lacy Bottoms.
I just finished putting sunblock on Lacy's supple back, I was reminded of what my dear father use to tell me. Dad had a serious expression on his kind face, while his pipe worked like a smoke stack of a speeding locomotive, "Son, the beer can never be too cold and the girls can never be too gorgeous!" My dad then cracked a smile as wide and as grand as the Grand Canyon.
I celebrated that pleasant memory by finishing my cold Dos Equis. I rubbed my eyes and before me was the short but handsome man, Mr. Vino wearing a vanilla ice cream colored suit. Mr. Vino seemed as excited as any billionaire could be, "It is time to go, time waits for no one." Talley and Mary protested that they wanted to stay pool side, but Lacy was very excited to go along. Mr. Vino shrugged his shoulders and said, "Okay, you stay here but make sure there is plenty of Pommery Champagne on ice. When we come back."
I had no idea what Mr. Vino had in mind. He reminded me of the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, particularly when he took out a gold pocket watch out of his waistcoat. We went directly into the house, where we found the handsome Chef Kenny puffing on a cigar wearing a black beret and red white striped shirt and looked like a vintage Apache dancer.
"My friends, we are going back in time and to the Rhone, when vineyards workers encountered a flying saucer and little green aliens in 1954. It was the basis of Randall Graham's very famous California wine Le Cigare Violant, based the great wine varietals such as Grenache, Syrah, Mouvedre and other red Rhone grapes. It is a new world style Chateauneauf-du-Pape. The incident is another Roswell and we plan to Investigate and find what caused the city counsel of Chateauneauf-du-Pape make it illegal for flying cigars, Le Cigare Violant to land in vineyards. We will take a ride on Herbert, my time machine and find out the true facts. Mr. Vino went on, " We must all go back to the changing room like Chef Kenny has and change into appropriate costume for France, 1954.
As we went back into the changing room, the lovely Lacy asked in a voice as sweet as a freshly baked sugar cookie, "How did you build your time machine, Mr. Vino.?"
Mr.Vino pointed his long finger in the air and said, "I bought the plans from a Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman, based on his time machine called the WABAC and I bought the parts from the government's Area 51."
"Isn't Mr. Peabody, a dog?" I asked.
"Yes, but he is a genius!" Mr. Vino replied with a chuckle.
Mr. Vino and I changed into our costumes. Soon, we were dressed like Chef Kenny like an Apache dancer with a black beret donning our heads. Lacy had a Dracula -red colored beret on top of her full curly hair. Ms. Bottoms was shockingly sexy in her tight red and white stripped top and short flowing Navy blue skirt, that showed off her shapely gams to the zenith. My heart melted for her like an accidentally dropped Fudgesicle on a sunny sizzling sidewalk.
This, I'm in love moment was interrupted by Chef Kenny.
"I have a picnic ready complete with wine and some simple fare for us to eat and drink. Let not try to break the space time continuum and try not to disturb anything and make sure not to step on any butterflies, that will change history for sure."
We quickly made for the giant wine cellar in Mr. Vino's beach mansion, where we met Alfred, the butler, already dressed in his French duds. We went down into the mamoth wine cellar and walked over a half mile past millions of sleeping bottles of wine in their cedar racks.
The time machine looked like a cartoon made with colored cardboard boxes and Christmas lights, there were several banks of flashing lights near the entrance and above the entrance was a large black and white photo of H.G. Wells besides a portrait of the bespeckled dog, Mr. Peabody. The setting on the machine had the year on a dial 1954 France. Mr. Vino's gave a mad scientist's cackle as he turned on the machine by flipping a monstrous switch that looked that it came out of an ancient Frankenstein movie, then high flying electric sparks flew everywhere, Herbert made a sound like a dozen copper tea kettles beginning to boil and the Xmas-colored lights began to flash like a bad disco in the 1970's.
We walked through the entrance and it was like nothing happened, there was no roll coaster ride, no dizziness.
We were in a vineyard, it was twilight. I couldn't believe that Herbert actually worked.
Chef Kenny set out the picnic blanket and Mr. Vino and Alfred opened a couple of bottles of Delas Cote du Rhone, a delicious red wine. It was a warm and delightful evening.
When a flying cigar came towards us, it was giant and full of spinning lights. It came towards us at break neck speeds, Lacy was scarred and grabbed tightly to my arm. Then the impossible happened.......END OF PART I
Frank Marquez (AKA Mr. Vino) is a wine enthusiast, writer, lecturer, buyer & seller of fine wines.
Frank attended and graduated from Coronado High School and has deep roots here on the island.
Click here to email
619-435-4663 or visit:
Avenue Liquor & Wine
(878 Orange Avenue)